well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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