i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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