i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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