Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
