I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
