You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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