Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
