you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
