Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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