if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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