you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
