she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
