did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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