chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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