you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
