She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
