It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
