anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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