What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
