Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
