It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
