The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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