i already hear my dad disowning me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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