My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
