just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
