Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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