Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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