I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Boobs are out for the taking
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
