I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pants are for mortals
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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