we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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