i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
