remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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