I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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