and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!