Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility