Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt

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(248): yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt http://tfl.nu/91j7

Replies (11) Good night (1095) Bad night (3121)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I think my vagina is haunted

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(608): I think my vagina is haunted http://tfl.nu/mic0

Replies (26) Good night (831) Bad night (3208)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?

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(860): Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims? http://tfl.nu/jffq

Replies (45) Good night (3999) Bad night (901)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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(416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7

Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (2367)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.

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(905): I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing. http://tfl.nu/u29p

Replies (16) Good night (1249) Bad night (3518)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.

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(617): i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good. http://tfl.nu/gykq

Replies (116) Good night (6376) Bad night (1300)
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(253): View more from Washington

The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.

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(253): The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore. http://tfl.nu/j34l

Replies (8) Good night (934) Bad night (3348)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on

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(612): we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on http://tfl.nu/0rd7

Replies (9) Good night (897) Bad night (3316)
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(214): View more from Texas

Come over. Drunk tacos.

(1-214): View more from Texas

That isn't even a sentence.

(214): View more from Texas

I kept the important parts.

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(214): Come over. Drunk tacos. (1-214): That isn't even a sentence. (214): I kept the important parts. http://tfl.nu/2pq0

Replies (8) Good night (4705) Bad night (765)
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(925): View more from California

the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".

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(925): the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes". http://tfl.nu/fxx0

Replies (11) Good night (1428) Bad night (686)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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(540): I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night. http://tfl.nu/isgy

Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (812)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.

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(808): He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married. http://tfl.nu/414x

Replies (18) Good night (908) Bad night (2248)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil

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(773): I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil http://tfl.nu/zlzm

Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (342)
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(310): View more from California

If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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(310): If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me. http://tfl.nu/jaom

Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (293)
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(520): View more from Arizona

You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.

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(520): You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha. http://tfl.nu/0ooa

Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (208)

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