Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?