Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..

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  (310): I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane.. http://tfl.nu/no57
  Replies (14) Good night (529) Bad night (2274)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen

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  (309): I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen http://tfl.nu/zk0c
  Replies (55) Good night (1106) Bad night (4272)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.

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  (617): Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem. http://tfl.nu/80or
  Replies (16) Good night (1106) Bad night (6100)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.

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  (519): Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even. http://tfl.nu/28ty
  Replies (7) Good night (2617) Bad night (616)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?

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  (443): At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together? http://tfl.nu/40u8
  Replies (6) Good night (527) Bad night (1911)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself

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  (401): I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself http://tfl.nu/9jsd
  Replies (12) Good night (1481) Bad night (652)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.

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  (303): I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls. http://tfl.nu/h774
  Replies (2) Good night (1325) Bad night (491)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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  (202): I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning. http://tfl.nu/sdft
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (522)
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  (916): View more from California

  1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.

  (707): View more from California

  *roof

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  (916): 1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor. (707): *roof http://tfl.nu/ph25
  Replies (6) Good night (1758) Bad night (494)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (426)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.

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  (908): I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling. http://tfl.nu/t9ar
  Replies (6) Good night (1295) Bad night (413)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right

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  (703): Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right http://tfl.nu/qcjq
  Replies (7) Good night (1808) Bad night (707)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...

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  (646): I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes... http://tfl.nu/1uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (369) Bad night (1291)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.

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  (410): She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue. http://tfl.nu/xn2n
  Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.

  (585): View more from New York

  If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.

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  (716): Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way. (585): If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this. http://tfl.nu/htqs
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (157)

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