i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize