dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
