Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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