oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just had sex bonerless
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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