It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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