New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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