Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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