i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
