Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
