I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
