I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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