She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
