You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His hands were made for my vagina.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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