butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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