I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
