Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
