I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize