Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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