Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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