I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
