we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
