CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
