if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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