I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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