so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
