North Korea, Best Korea!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
