I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
