Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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