If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
