She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize