All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
