I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
