This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
