I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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