You're completely useless in the revolution.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.