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• (512): View more from Texas

  She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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• (347): View more from New York

  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (925): View more from California

  We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (226): View more from Ontario

  I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.

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• (831): View more from California

  if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please

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• (212): View more from New York

  At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for

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• (516): View more from New York

  sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day

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• (210): View more from Texas

  We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition

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