i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.